so many thoughts, so few words

sometimes there is wisdom in not saying what you feel like saying. there is sometimes greater virtue, i believe, in the holding in of the multitude of thoughts than there is in the few words we choose to utter; there is greater strength in knowing what to hold in, bearing the burden of unspoken words, than in what to say. adding to that virtue is the fact that no one but you will ever know the choices you've struggled to make - the thoughts and feelings you've swallowed for the sake of another. perhaps these invisible choices have more to say of our character than the deeds that can be witnessed. because the only truly invisible arena is the arena of our thoughts. you're the only one who will ever know what goes on in your heart. and somewhere between your heart and your mouth, lies a great amount of character.

also

i have this thought i've been struggling to put words to: when you pour water out on top of something, you can always count on it taking a particular path - the path of least resistance. water has nothing to go on except for what is immediately before it, and yet it knows just what direction to turn in each moment.

this is an imperfect analogy, but the point is, you and i are just like water. i don't think any one of us knows what the hell we're doing. we're just following an ingrained set of directions (call them instincts) moment by moment. i believe we can trust this innate wiring nearly implicitly. i believe each of us have been created, formed, and hard-wired to know what is best for us. and this is our goal - to connect with who we were created, formed and hard-wired to be.

if we can accomplish this goal, we can trust that life can deliver any sort of challenge our way and we will know how to navigate it. we won't have to worry that something wont work out. everything will work out in the end.

now, that's not to say we wont make choices that cause us pain, for that is part of life and living. the only thing we need to guard against is that a fear of our pain doesn't cloud our vision or hold us back from choosing the path we know we should travel. but then again, if fear holds us back from that path, then perhaps we're not ready yet to take that path.

we will inevitably make mistakes, but we don't have to fear that process. mistakes help to open our eyes wider to see more of life itself. water always finds its way to wherever it's going. and so will we.

don't you see, oh soul of mine? this life is a beautiful gift and i am fearfully and wonderfully made. worry has no great valuable position in my thoughts. instead gratitude and appreciation are due.