"she's no different from the freaks that like watchin this film.
it's not who i am that matters. it's who they wish i was."

river cravings

"river, like smoke, will find its own way the dam will leak, the smokehouse cannot hold everything"

i find myself daydreaming about rivers. high rivers, low rivers, flooding rivers. i want to watch the swirl as the river finds rock or bank to negotiate. to see the reflection of the river bed in the surface behavior. i wanna be mesmerized by the rhythmic tossing of a rapids. i want to hear the gentle lapping of the river on a soft bank. to dive into my favorite swimming hole and feel the world slip seemingly miles away. i want to submit to the current and feel my body be swept downstream.