Saturday, March 5, 2016

My Dad 1951-2015


He was, perhaps first of all, an individual. Both in thought and expression, he blazed his own trail and made his own rules. And with his insatiable sense of curiosity and adventure he continually searched for his own truth. He was unburdened by social convention and he had a knack for sharing this uncommon sense of freedom with people he met. He was truly unique, like a yellow tulip in a sea of red roses.

Grabe had tremendous heart. And it showed in the way he lovingly cared for his "flowfies", took in stray animals, and even made personal sacrifices to stand up against injustice when he encountered it. For 28 years he consistently showed me unconditional support and encouragement. When the world around you grew dark and nothing seemed clear, he was the type of person who could make you feel hope again. And he did that, time and time again. 

perhaps most of all he was the most genuine human being I've ever met. He never pretended to be something he wasn't, and never hid who he really was from anyone. He was intimately acquainted with the human condition, and yet he had a powerful skill in seeking and unashamedly finding joy in life. He was full of it. He was known to become visibly excited at the prospect of eating broccoli. His eyes would often sparkle when he had a good idea and he knew the pleasure in simple things like bright colors and pretty flowers. In many ways he was pure heart. 

he was full of light. But he also wrestled with a sort of inner darkness. unswervingly introspective, he fearlessly carried his light into the darker places. It was as if his soul was forged far out on the sea at the very point where the awesome light of the dying of day meets with the enshrouding darkness of night - melding together to create a most beautiful display and the most perfect picture of life itself. 

and that's just part of who he was. More than all of that, he was my dad. My father, my bloodline. The same blood that pulsed through his veins also pushes it's way through mine. He taught me how to navigate these waters. Taught me to look for beauty and wonder, and reassured me that you can always find it if you really look. It's right there in the way a leaf on a tree flips back and forth in the breeze. Or there under the rock where the bugs crawl. It's there in the moonlight that bounces off the river's surface at night.