self

selfishness begets selfishness. that's boringly true. when someone acts selfish toward you or at your expense, the knee-jerk reaction is to be selfish in return. maybe it's to protect yourself from the threat of a selfish person looking out only for themselves, and therefore not looking out for you in the least bit.

but this is obvious. it's too easy. selfishness is easy.

what's interesting to me is unselfishness. it's so unnatural. and why doesn't unselfishness beget unselfishness? that would be fantastic. all it would take was one unselfish person and it would spread around like some kind of disease.

but instead, unselfishness is often met with selfishness. like a stream flowing into a black hole.

my dad once told me that if he lived his life all the way in harmony with his ideals, he would not live very long. it reminded me of jesus. jesus lived his life all the way in harmony with his ideals and, sure enough, he didn't live very long.

selfishness is boring. its too easy. i'm more interested in unselfishness. unselfishness in the face of selfishness. unselfishness that begets unselfishness.

i think that's what love is.

streaming through the holes

i drove all night to get to california.
watched the mile signs go by 6 miles at a time.
fought against the weights resting on my eyelids.

and i'll never forget the feeling when the sun began to rise and the first signs of light broke on the horizon. i began to be able to see the surroundings. they had changed as i drove in the night. the world expanded beyond the beams of my headlights. and my first thought was, very clearly, "i'm gonna make it."

"i'm gonna make it."

spare an angel -chris rice

where's the limit to the pain

her heart can take

before it breaks

in half?

she has no idea how much you love her

or how much you care.

so would you choose one of your best

to be the answer to my prayer:

can you spare an angel tonight

send a little help from your side

'cause somebody's lost down here...

let him wing his way through the dark

carry some of your love into her heart.

(would you? please?)