interview with sports illustrated

eating.

i've done a lot of that in the last few days. i never thought i'd say this but...

i'm tired of it.

i suppose i'll be singing a different tune in a couple hours though.

parmesan cheese

“sometimes i wonder if we're not all pieces of the same puzzle." benjamin wondered aloud. i knew we were, but i didn't say anything. i had ridden with benjamin and clara from astoria to hood river, where we would part ways. it's difficult to explain how we ended up sitting at a picnic table deep in thoughts that were too heavy for conversation, but i'll just say that sometimes you meet someone and it feels like you've known them your whole life. so there we just sat. together. connected. didn't they feel it? of course we were from the same puzzle. i had just met these people hours ago on a totally different path of life and we so obviously had such human-ness in common. "the humanity puzzle" i thought as a man sauntered by and gave us a half-wave of the hand/head. my thoughts sailed off with him and i wondered what his story was. where was he going? where was he coming from? how does he fit into the puzzle? i've met a lot of people in my life. every last one of them contains some bit of humanity inside: radiating out from the deepest part of their soul. it's so obvious to me. i've seen it. "the humanity puzzle."

my name is "joe." (or at least that's what i told them. partly because i don't really remember having a real name that was any different, and partly because i like the way it sounds.) "joe schmoe..." i informed them. "i think it's german." we laughed. some people call me a drifter, i think i'm a listener. see, there's this "call"... this... "power" in all of us, moving us, urging us through life. it's the notion we get that there's more. it's the urge we get to quit our meaningless, half-hearted pursuits, throw caution to the wind and just pursue life itself with everything in us. i just figure people don't hear it. either that or they don't listen. instead they just go through the motions. living the life that they think they're "supposed" to live.

suddenly clara broke the silence. she stood up to pace, the thoughts in her head too uncomfortable to sit with any longer. "i hear it" she stammered, "i just can't always listen to it." nobody said anything. "i mean, sometimes i do, but sometimes i have to be responsible...right?" she looked at benjamin for assurance. he just sat there, staring back. "i guess that's what makes me 'joe'." i thought to myself. "i can't do anything but listen. like a pebble caught in the gap of the rubber grip on your shoe. just along for the ride."

i've done some odd things in my time, but words barely disclose half of what happened next: suddenly i stood up, walked over to clara, and gave her a hug. a real hug. i couldn't explain it. i didn't speak, clara didn't speak, benjamin didn't speak. we just were. then benjamin stood up, walked over, and gave me a hug. a real hug.

there it was. radiating out from our souls. humanity. humanity in my person reaching out to the humanity in another.

an exchange took place there that is hard for me to describe. i gave them a piece of me. the real me. and they gave me a piece of them. the real them.

and our pieces fit together. like pieces from the same puzzle.

i don't even know (warning: not for the faint of heart)

so, when i made the list of things i needed for spring break (supplies, able body, spirit)... i was mistaken on one of them. indeed, i do have an able body, and somewhat of a spirit of adventure... what i didn't understand was supplies. so, here's a list of things to do (supplies and other) if you want to take a bike trekking adventure:

you definitely need:

1. saddle bags... or a carriage thingy

2. padded pants/shorts

3. more than one pair of socks

4. a real road bike

5. rain-proof... everything

6. a lot of food

i'm sure there are other things too, and yes, i tried it... without this stuff. i don't know why but i thought it would be important to bring a lot of underwear, but only one pair of socks would do the trick. i guess i just thought, this wo

uld be a lot like backpacking, only faster paced. boy was i wrong. i call this picture "bright-eyed and bushy-tailed"

my plan was to start in seaside, oregon and just ride north, with my bike and my backpack full of everything i could need, as far as i could for two days (hopefully making it to leadbetter point, washington) then turn around and come back in time to get home before my brother came to town. i think it was no more than four minutes after this picture was taken, i knew deep down that this was a bad idea. but i pushed that thought out of my head and said, "ah, this is just the famous 'first mile' i just have to make it past this initial discomfort."

it turned out it was not initial discomfort. it only got worse and worse. my lower back felt like someone had smashed it with a softball bat as hard as they could. after what felt like an eternity (but i knew it couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 miles) every push of the pedal was accompanied by a grunt of pain. I kept pressing on anyway, thinking of alternate plans as i went. "maybe i could ditch my bike here in this wooded area and lock it to a tree and hitchhike the rest of the way..."

(also, if you're going to go on a bike trek along highways, be prepared for cars to constantly fly by you at at least five times your speed reminding you that you're not making much progress... demoralizing!)

finally i saw a sign for a campground and i exited the highway in the worst mood i've been in in weeks, maybe months. i paid for a campsite and there i stayed for the next two nights.

the morning of day two, my spirit was crushed but not completely dead, so i decided i'd bike to astoria and check it out, then come back. easy peasy. astoria was cold and blustery. and cold too. i ate lunch and headed back, my spirit still a little bit under the weather. as soon as i entered the bridgething that crossed some bay and headed back to where i was camping, nature herself decided to mount an attack against me and my spirit. GALE-FORCE WINDS DIRECTLY IN MY FACE!!! i was literally in my easiest gear and still fighting for every ounce of momentum. if i had stopped pedaling, the wind would have stopped me and pushed me backward! cars were still flying by me effortlessly! seriously, you've never experienced this kind of opposition. then it started raining. i call this picture "wet and whimpery"

when i finally made it back (8.5 miles ... only?) to my tent, my soul was as beaten down as ever before. my spirit of adventure was all but dead. there i was, all by myself huddled in my tent, hiding from the rain in some campground full of tourists (my fav...) and i didn't even bring a book to read. (ok, admittedly, i'm a little dramatic at times)

then! i found my jolly rancher stash and life was good again! i bucked myself up (bolstered my spirits)(buoyed my hopes) and smiled. it was tough, but i did.

i said, "i don't care if it's raining, i'm going to the beach anyway!" and so i did.

the next day, i convinced myself that retreating to my car would not mean defeat, and there was no shame in continuing my venture in my car since there was no way i was going to make it to my goal by bicycle with all my stuff and no saddlebags, and i rode my bike the fifteen or so miles back and retrieved the old 'doob. and i had a great time the rest of the trip.

you can call me meriweather!

i made it! no camping in leadbetter though... oh well, didn't really feel like setting up my wet tent and stuff again anyways.

so, four nights was shortened to two, but man, that trip definitely gets my "worth it" stamp of approval!

p.s. it still hurts a little to sit on things... and here are some random pictures from my trip:

dreams (am i crazy?)

i literally dreamed of my grades last night because i was so excited to check my grades today.

so, here i am, checking them. they're just what i thought they'd be. it's like checking your airplane reservations again and again... kind of.

two nights ago (i'm not sure if it was a dream or not) the image of a big shiny black spider with a bright alarming red hourglass on it's belly flashed through my mind for no longer than a 1/3 of a second.

instantly my mind went wild and i didn't sleep well for the rest of the night. "what if i get bit by a black widow?", "andrew once got bit by a black widow and he was fine... sure he spent a few days in the hospital, but i could handle that.", "how would i know if i got bit by a black widow before it was too late?", "what would i do with all my stuff while i's in the hospital?", "i'll just tell one of those rv campers to take me to the hospital.", "what if they give me the anti-venom? then it'll never work again!" "there could be a black widow in my tent right now, and i'd have no idea.", "i shouldn't have left my tent flap open all day. dang it! i know better than that too.", "wait... what's this bite on my leg? mosquito? hope so.", "wait how do you know what a black widow bite looks like? what are the symptoms? nervous system break down? shoot, that's happening anyway! my muscles are all sore already too!", "wait, what will i do with all my stuff?"

on and on and on my mind went until i couldn't take it anymore and i'd grab my headlamp and go crazy checking every nook and cranny of my tent/sleeping bag. until at last i was satisfied enough to lay back down. then i'd lay there fore three seconds and my mind would begin to go bananas on me again until i couldn't take it anymore and i'd grab my headlamp...

spring break

able body.... check!

supplies... check!

spirit of adventure..... hold on a sec..... yep! check!

family

Family is the bread that holds the soup. Don’t read into that statement just let it sink into your heart, like soup sinking into the family bread bowl and you’ll know what I mean. Wednesday night is family night and Jacob and I had family dinner. Pizza with all the fixin’s (secret family recipe). Finals are over and they’ve left holes in our schedules and our hearts and we’ve tried to fill those holes with what’s important. Today I talked to every member of my immediate family but at the end of the day I walked to my basement apartment, carried my bike down the stairs and who was there to meet me? Jacob Graybill. He knows how to show the love. To illustrate how well he shows the love I’ll say that I know what his mustache and goatee feel like against my forehead. He’s family except for one thing, with family, you share either a last name or blood and we share neither. There are two remedies to this, becoming blood brothers, which we’ve both decided against mainly because it requires us to bleed, or have the same last name. So henceforth I will be know as Alex B. K. Graybill-Vercio and he will be known as Jacob S. Vercio-Graybill. Jacob welcome to the family. -Alex

family is the friends we don’t get to choose (that sounds vaguely familiar). sort of like eating. it’s the hobby we don’t get to pick. alex is like a really good apple pie. you have to eat to live, but sometimes the food you get to eat is really delicious. alex is like the family you get to choose (now that’s familiar). we often drink tea together or, like the picture here, eat food ceremoniously together… really close together. maybe we like to sit on the couch so close because it’s functional. we can both see the computer screen, or smell each other’s breath, or give a high-five with little effort, or whatever else you can easily do (feed each other?) when you find yourself sitting so close to another person that it’s impossible to determine who it was that just farted. but maybe we sit like that because we like to. we’re pretty much family. i mean, we’re roommates. but, who knows, maybe we’ll make it official. maybe we’ll “tie the knot” through the ceremony of becoming blood-brothers (a two man wolf-pack) by cutting our palms then clasping our hands, letting our blood mingle together... or maybe we’ll just hyphenate our last names. -jacob

entry #257 (just kidding (wouldn't that be cool though?) there's no way i would count them all)

i sat down to work on homework and my wrists decided they were tired of subjugating themselves to whatever the distant lord brain wanted. tired of obeying every exacting command supposedly for the good of the whole, when everyone knew it was all about what made that brain feel good. so the atoms in the cells of the tissues of my wrist divorced themselves from each other and consequently from my arms.

i watched as they scrambled off to find something. something pleasing according to the desires of the hand. each hand was determined to do what it wanted to do. perhaps to wrap themselves around. they didn't get very far before the fingernails decided they had ridden around on the tips of their fingers long enough. they pulled off and fell on the linoleum where they looked up enchantedly by the holes in the ceiling. soon, each of the bones in what used to be my wrist and hand one by one decided they had gone far enough and jumped the train until all but a four or five bones remained in each hand. and those "hands" continued their journey to wherever it was they were going.

then the cells in my skin tissue and the cells in my muscle tissue grew weary of putting up with each others differences and split up once and for all. while each individual blood cell tried to get as close to the earth as possible. spreading out like the masses of people sprawling out at woodstock.

i looked at all the components that used to make up my functional hands. each was lying strewn haphazardly along the ground in a trail no longer than three feet long. lifeless. like the stiff, uncomfortable school uniform on the floor of the bedroom of a young boy who is late for soccer practice.

"oh my word!"

i'm sitting here in the library studying. it's the most fun i've had all weekend. my mind is currently in the process of exploding because of all the fun i'm having in here.

jicydk (text language for, "just in case you didn't know")... i'm being sarcastic.

it's not really that bad though.

i just heard a phone conversation take place in the hall that i couldn't help but eavesdrop on because it sounded like it was being amplified through a speaker system directly into my face. i heard the girl answer the phone, "hello?" then i heard silence for a little bit, then a gasp... then all i heard after that was the phrase, "oh my word!" repeated again and again. over and over. with greater intensity every time. she probably said "oh my word!" seventeen times in the four minute conversation. on average, that's more than four times per minute! needless to say, she didn't say much else except "bye" at the end of the conversation.

it brings comfort to know that at least one person in the library is excited about something.

why?

every time the door opens, a wormhole connecting the front door of the gym and the north pole is brushed open and a full 6,500 gallons of fresh arctic air rushes directly into my face and arms.

it's a good thing it's a double door there, that way it can accommodate forty people come in those doors every minute while i work.

at six o'clock people start telling me, "hey man, that door's locked!" (because they lock automatically at six)

i just look at them and think, "darn!"

philosophy should be restricted to discussion...

i was leaning way back in my chair just now. it's one of the chairs at one of the cubicles in the library. i just kept leaning back more and more and more, until i had my feet up on the desk part where my elbows usually rest.

suddenly the little feet on the legs of the chair slipped straight forward. to make a short story long, i instantly realized i was falling and there was nothing i could do about it except maybe prevent my head from smashing against the wall behind me, but before i could react, i was crumpled on the floor like a dirty t-shirt in the hamper.

as soon as i collected myself and sat back down, i noticed my elbow burned. i looked an saw a perfectly circular scrape. "that's a perfectly circular scrape." i thought. "i wonder how that happened." then i realized, "that's about the same size as my buttons on my coat on the back of my chair."

check - clear

check - clear

check - there it was.

i had pinned one my buttons to the linoleum with my elbow and sure enough, some of my skin tissue remained under the fingernails of my button as evidence.

i felt a little bit like the star character on my own version of the popular show "csi: wwu"

case closed.