Sunday, March 22, 2009

in transit

the longer the travel the more rewarding the arrival...
this makes sense right?

if this is true, then that's the reason why i'm so freaking glad to be in pismo beach finally.

i left my house in walla walla on thursday at around two-thirty p.m. and i just arrived at my destination (the beautiful yeos') about two hours ago at twelve-ish on saturday night. 

fortunately i saw some pretty cool stuff along the way. i.e. my brother, amy naus, bobby koorenny.

anyway, i'm finally here and it feels really incredible on many levels.

p.s. this is gonna be great.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

a mind

i sometimes tire of the surface level of me. it gets boring and old. the problem is that the surface side is the most positive side sometimes. underneath....

underneath there lies a deep dark boiling something (the words deep and dark don't exactly describe this but they're the best i could come up with). it scares me sometimes, and i feel like i can only keep it down for so long. sometimes it sneaks to the surface where i quickly bury it and throw some silliness on the surface. i'm confused by the way it feels sometimes. feels like anxiety sometimes. that tightening of the chest and the panicky feeling deep down. it feels like passion other times. what's the difference?

i'll call it my soul. it's searching for expression and i won't allow it. i'm afraid of it. i wish i knew a way to express it. to let it go. unbridle it. how?

at times i have opportunity, it's not ready, it won't. 

i'm out of sync with my soul.