underneath there lies a deep dark boiling something (the words deep and dark don't exactly describe this but they're the best i could come up with). it scares me sometimes, and i feel like i can only keep it down for so long. sometimes it sneaks to the surface where i quickly bury it and throw some silliness on the surface. i'm confused by the way it feels sometimes. feels like anxiety sometimes. that tightening of the chest and the panicky feeling deep down. it feels like passion other times. what's the difference?
i'll call it my soul. it's searching for expression and i won't allow it. i'm afraid of it. i wish i knew a way to express it. to let it go. unbridle it. how?
at times i have opportunity, it's not ready, it won't.
i'm out of sync with my soul.
2 comments:
oh dear jacob.
i'm sorry that this sickness has also provoked you to feel out of sync with your soul.
i think you gave it to me though too. just the physical sickness part.
i wish i had answers for you.
i appreciate every side of you.
jakeyo. you need to go to my blog. i mentioned you...as the antagonist. don't try to stop us. we're unstoppable.
i also appreciate you and your fun and kindness alot.
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