"she's no different from the freaks that like watchin this film.
it's not who i am that matters. it's who they wish i was."

river cravings

"river, like smoke, will find its own way the dam will leak, the smokehouse cannot hold everything"

i find myself daydreaming about rivers. high rivers, low rivers, flooding rivers. i want to watch the swirl as the river finds rock or bank to negotiate. to see the reflection of the river bed in the surface behavior. i wanna be mesmerized by the rhythmic tossing of a rapids. i want to hear the gentle lapping of the river on a soft bank. to dive into my favorite swimming hole and feel the world slip seemingly miles away. i want to submit to the current and feel my body be swept downstream. 

satire

"some people say that, whilst uttering what seemed madness, he was, in reality, divinely inspired, and that it was not madness but wisdom that he uttered."
 - someone

life is short

There's a moment between the moment when the tub faucet is on, water pouring down into the tub connecting the faucet and the tub, and the moment when the shower tab is pulled on the faucet and the water sprays out of the shower head connecting the shower and the tub.

For a moment, the water is not in contact with the tub. It is born out from the shower head and free-falls through the air.

It's just a brief moment - barely perceivable. If you're not paying attention, you'll miss it.

But if you listen, you can hear it - a profound moment when water is free.

respect the roots

sure, the plant is pretty.
but it is the roots 

that give it life.

haze

tonight is one of those nights,
where, no matter how many times you blink,
a thick, hazy band blurs the street lights.

ride a bike

i saw this quote cross-stitched, framed and then hung in the bathroom of a thrift store in post falls, idaho. to this day i don't know why i didn't try to buy it from them, but i'll probably never forget it:

"happiness is a butterfly, which when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, will alight upon your shoulder."

which is both poignant and comical at the same time considering the location of the artwork.

happiness is a butterfly just as much as it is riding a bike. some of the times i've felt the happiness flowing in and through me the most keenly have been riding a bike on a summer evening. and i don't mean with padded shorts and feet clipped in to pedals. i mean with my eyes closed and the wind in my face, and possibly with one or more hands stretched out feeling the air flow through my hands like moments in time.

riding a bike should be fun. it should be happiness. sometimes i get caught up trying to ride a bike faster than, or further than, or tilker than the other guy. sometimes i get caught up in how i look when i ride my bike. or sometimes it's the health benefits that i get hung up on. or how cool or expensive or advanced my bike is.

but whatever it is, it distracts me from the pure enjoyment of riding a bike. floating across the surface of the earth, carried by a magical mix of metals and rubber and air.


and when it comes down to it, a person never forgets how to ride a bike. you never forget how to really ride a bike. you just have to stop trying so hard. just ride a bike. feel the magic.

and the butterfly will land on your shoulder