app.

darkness has much to show

silence has much to say

if i could just listen

if i can open myself to it

life is beautiful

swimming/life

breathe deeply
be disciplined
focus
find a rhythm
let it flow
relax
stop fighting
feel that rhythm
let it flow
relax
enjoy

all the sounds of earth are like music

i noticed the songs of the birds outside my window have begun to change.
i used to hear only a shrill chirp that bordered on a screech. sometimes as soon as 3 am. lately i've heard a much more melodic and cheerful song (each song being improvised on the spot and unique from every song before and every song that will ever be sung.)
i like to say the birds have begun to change their songs.
alex pointed out that it's probably the bird population that's changing.
i still like to say the birds have begun to change their songs. collectively. like a choir when the altos take the melody from the sopranos.

dishes

the other day, i was washing the dishes thinking to myself, "why don't roommates do dishes?" then "what if i was roommates with my clone who was taking different classes and stuff? who would do more dishes?" then i thought, "why is oatmeal so sticky?"

the peeps and the dude

one time a few peeps were trying to earn some money so they found this farmer with a bunch of work on his hands and struck a deal. the farmer was like, "hey, here's the deal, if you work for me today, i'll give you each $200 for the days work."
the peeps said, "sounds good farmer man"
so they worked. the changed irrigation lines, built two fences, stacked close to 1000 bails of hay, and repaired one tractor and a pickup truck. at one point late in the afternoon, another dude showed up and wanted to work. The farmer, wanting all the help he could get, put the dude to work with the peeps. a little while later the peeps and the dude were done with their projects and it was pay time.
the farmer man gave the peeps and the dude 200 dollars each.
the peeps saw the dude take the 200 dollars from the farmer. "hey man! you only worked a couple hours!!!" they said angrily. then they said, "hey farmer man, that dude only worked a couple hours! what the heck is the deal here? how come he gets $200 too?"
the farmer said, "peeps, a deal is a deal. did i short change you in some way?"
and the peeps went home really upset with their 200 dollars.
and the dude went home with his 200 dollars too.

sleight

it's people like you, bearded man, that make me avoid social pretense
i was so right about so many things, but you had to be right
even down to the very end you were right
after i was long gone you reach through some fifth dimension to slap me in the face again and again
somehow you knew
you were right and i was wrong
and you're the one with the beard

short

life is short. but exactly how short is always relative.

i had a dream last night in which i was diagnosed with some kind of degenerative brain disease. i remember that the prognosis wasn't pretty and that i was basically given a death sentence. i think i took it well at first, but then my brother walked in the room and shot me in the head (a pretty bold move i'd say). it would have been better if he had better aim and actually killed me, but instead it only barely hit the very top of my head. i remember looking in the pillow and couch i was sitting on for the bullet (maybe it only grazed my head) but i couldn't find it and so, came to the conclusion that it indeed pierced my skull and that i was probably hemorrhaging. suddenly i had this list of things that i would have died and never experienced.

i'm afraid to die and i'm afraid to admit it.