Tuesday, December 29, 2009
the terror that flies by night, aka the nocturnal nuisance, aka aidsy, aka beast, aka leo, aka the big yellow cat that lives on my dad's bottom floor
Thursday, December 17, 2009
unfair odds
Friday, December 11, 2009
headache
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
there. on my floor.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
the roughly informed dream machine owner
I turn the key and magic happens
Small-scale explosions in rapid succession.
Each one is individually underappreciated and unnoticed.
Even still, each one is a real live explosion
My engine is exploding.
I used to own a 1990 honda civic dx hatchback. It was the dream machine, but that’s beside the point. The point is that, once upon a time, during the time that I owned that car, I curiously popped open the hood to look inside. The motor was still running, and I had a vague, but roughly informed idea of what was going on in there. I reached down into the engine compartment (also known to me as the-masterful-work-of-art compartment) and unplugged one of the spark plug wires from the one-point-something-liter four-cylinder engine. My car was suddenly a horse with a rhythmic limp. The engine did not die, it just idled there having three explosions per revolution instead of four. I remembered how some tiny cars (not much smaller than mine) ran on only three cylinders all the time on purpose, and they got excellent gas mileage. “this must be what they sound like.” I thought. Then genius struck me on the face. “I could probably just leave this thing unplugged and always run on three cylinders and get excellent gas mileage!”